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Those of you who remember the Paul Simon song, “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover,” might find it odd that a tune about leaving your lover inspired this article on how to plan an evening of seduction. But food can bring lovers together in all kinds of delicious ways, and I love the idea of finding fifty ways to celebrate your lover with food.

From feeding each other by candlelight to sharing a blind tasting or turning dessert into a sensual experience, these 50 ideas will help you use food to flirt, connect and bring more intimacy into your relationship.

To help you along the way, we’ve created a page of aphrodisiac recipes from our site that would lend themselves well to feeding your partner’s physical and emotional appetites.

50 chef-tested ways to feed your lover

Eat in on Valentine’s Day. Why share the year’s most intimate holiday with hordes of other couples?
Send a sexy dinner invitation: A pair of naughty undies accompanied by a card that simply says ‘You Are Invited’ and lists the time and place sends a clear message of mystery and seduction.
Build a time machine: Recreate your favorite food memory, whether it was a delicious baguette you ate in Paris together or a clambake in Maine.
Use the KISS Method: Keep it simple and sexy. Prepare a healthy romantic dinner with simple, light veggies and proteins, seasoned with bold flavors and a bit of aphrodisiac magic. This leads to our next step:
Believe in aphrodisiac magic: The most powerful aphrodisiac you can serve feeds the mind, so whether you plan to dine on oysters or yarsagumba, make sure to serve up a sexy story that supports authenticity.
Do it together: I mean, cook in the kitchen.
Forget the forks: plan a meal that you can feed to one another.
Go for the glow: Votives and dim lights set the stage for true romance.
Amuse the mouth: prepare a little nibble, or in restaurant-speak, an amuse-bouche, to tempt your lover before your seductive dinner is served. My favorite small bite? Manchego cheese slivers topped with a crisp Asian pear slice.
Serve it in nibbles: A savory crisp soy cracker with a slice of avocado and sushi-grade ahi tuna, with a bit of julienned scallion on top.
Serve something small and spicy: Edamame spiced with Szechuan seasonings, a combination of ground pink peppercorns, sesame seeds, dried garlic, ground ginger, red pepper and ground coriander.
Show them sweet morsels: Sweet melon, such as honeydew, cantaloupe or Crenshaw, is the perfect match for salty, luscious prosciutto.
Serve a healthy bite with a sexy spin: Hummus is one of the most simple and sexy dips to create, plus ancient Arabian manuals claim that garbanzo beans give a man “the strength to pleasure a thousand women.” Serve it with some toasted pita wedges.
Turn a cliche into a night to remember: Shuck some fresh oysters and slurp their briny goodness right from the shell.
Create a sensual pre-dining experience by using a finger bowl of warm water scented with dried lavender and a squeeze of lemon juice.
Aperitif play: Take a sensuous slurp of a stimulating aperitif from an erogenous zone. Champagne belly button shots, anyone?
Put the booty in the booze: Try a cocktail that packs an aphrodisiac punch, like the Lover’s Margarita, made with a 100% blue agave Agavero tequila blended with the damiana flower, an ancient aphrodisiac.
Sip on this: Sangria is a festive, flirty multicultural sipper. Just mix a good quality bottle of red wine with a cup of brandy, a teaspoon of cinnamon and your favorite fruit: apples, grapes, pears, strawberries, or orange slices all pair well. (Here’s my red wine sangria recipe.)
Imbibe like the Bard: Shakespeare said, “Alcohol, provokes the desire but takes away the performance.” Take his advice by practicing moderation.
Blind tasting: Give your partner the ultimate sensual experience by blindfolding them, then feeding them sumptuous bites.
Nooky or cooky? Don’t feel like putting out? I mean, in the kitchen…dial your favorite delivery, then dress up the table with a formal setting. You’ll get the home-cooked feeling and still have energy for the main event.
Vampires rule: Get all of the aphrodisiac benefits from garlic. If you both are enjoying it, neither of you will notice the pungent fragrance.
Chopstick or fork? Grab a pair of sticks for a frisky way to feed your sweetie.
Location, location, location: Don’t limit yourself to the dining room; have a sexy dining soirée in front of your fireplace, on a cushy sofa, or save steps and serve dinner in bed!
You’re not the one cooking? Spoil your hard-working chef with a shoulder rub.
Tuck a handwritten note into your lover’s napkin for a sweet surprise that will make them smile.
Feed your partner their entire meal, holding his/her gaze and making each forkful a perfect, lustful bite. Delight in watching their carnal pleasure.
FLIRT!: When was the last time you held your lover’s gaze, touched their arm while you spoke to them, or laughed with pleasure at their stories? Fully flirt while you’re dining; it’s the ultimate compliment.
Get wild with a sexy story over dinner: Erotic talk over dinner has the hottest aphrodisiac value.
Forget the flowers: A fresh herb bouquet will pack a much more sensual response and has ancient aphrodisiac symbolism in Greek, Roman and some Asian cultures.
Find a yin for your yang: Pair foods with opposite flavors, temperatures and textures for the ultimate sensory experience. Sweet and savory, hot and cold, creamy and crisp.
Use your resources: Two great cookbooks that can help you understand the sensual side of aphrodisiac cooking and provide some easy, delicious recipes are The Seduction Cookbook by Diane Brown and Fork Me Spoon Me by Amy Reiley.
Easy main event: For a simple, omega-3-rich, aphrodisiac-packed main entrée, bake your favorite fish with a drizzle of olive oil, a squeeze of lemon juice, a sprinkle of fresh chopped oregano and a tablespoon of capers. Just 7-10 minutes in a 350-degree oven is all you need to do to make your main event luscious.
Try something wild: Win the heart of your carnivore with a healthy yet decadent Herb-Marinated Bison Steak.
A main course you can nibble: Lamb chops are the ultimate easy seduction. Tender, juicy, simple to prepare, and a sensual eat, all you need to do is smear them with salt and pepper, a good quality stone-ground mustard and pop them under a broiler or on the grill until they are cooked to your desired doneness.
Say it the vegetarian way: Don’t forget about your vegetarian sweetie. Just whirl up a simple basil pesto (basil, toasted pine nuts, garlic and parmesan cheese) in a food processor, then toss it with a quickly cooked angel hair pasta or quinoa. Top with some more grated, good-quality parmesan cheese.
Get saucy: Serve a red wine reduction—made with shallots, red wine and a touch of butter—over just about anything.
Flash back to Flashdance: Steamed lobster and butter, anyone?
Go low-tech: Don’t plan any extravagant after-dinner activities, like streaming that historical drama you’ve both wanted to see. Keep it low-tech and focused on one another; read a book of poetry, tell a story.
Dessert? In three words: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.
Bring out your inner artist: Melt and cool some luscious, 70% cocoa chocolate, puree some strawberries or raspberries with a little sugar and balsamic vinegar, or make and cool some homemade caramel with sugar and cream. Then, using a paintbrush or your fingers, make an edible work of art right on your lover’s body. This leads to the next tip:
Serve dessert and bubbles in the bath: Draw a sumptuous warm bubble bath and serve sweets inside. Double the bubbles and the fun with a glass of Champagne.
Eat dessert as the French do: Take a bite of your dessert, and pass it to your honey in a French kiss.
Fruits of desire: Just a simple offering of fresh fruit can fan the flames of desire after a satisfying meal. Aphrodisiac fruits offer a simple, vibrant ending with just the right touch of sweet.
Show up naked with the dessert course.
A great night of seduction wouldn’t be a true success without the morning after: Feed your lover a freshly ground brew of certified fair trade coffee. They’re not into java? A cup of their favorite tea or hot cocoa, all in bed, of course.
Breakfast in bed: Sumptuous, ripe fresh fruit, hand-fed to your sweetie.
A morning love note: Cut out a heart shape in a thick slice of country bread, then butter and toast it in a hot skillet. Crack open an egg and drop it in, then cook to the desired doneness.
Whatever you serve, if you serve it in bed with a mimosa, it will taste sexier!
Get physical: Go for a brisk walk, hike or run and watch your lover’s carnal appetite increase.
I know I said 50 but I just have to add one more: Have fun with it. Feeding your lover is only limited to your healthy sense of adventure and curious palate.

Download the whole list of romantic dinner ideas

Now you can download a printable 50 Ways to Feed Your Lover checklist. For just $4.99, this Feed Your Lover planner can save you time and keep you organized any time you want to treat your lover and yourself to a night of romance.

If you love these suggestions, check out my aphrodisiac cookbook, The Seduction Cookbook. It’s filled with recipes to feed your lover. You can check it out on Amazon:

This article was written in 2013 and most recently updated in 2026 with an updated introduction and links.

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Diane Brown

Diane Brown is the author of The Seduction Cookbook: Culinary Creations For Lovers, (Innova Publishing 2005). She is a personal chef as well as a freelance food writer. Her work has appeared in publications including Bon Appetit, Gourmet, Sunset, Veggie Life, Chile Pepper and Wine Enthusiast. She has taught aphrodisiac cooking both in person and on tv and radio, including appearances on The Other Half, Fox News “Ask the Expert” and Leeza at Night. A champion of CSA's, Diane writes the blog Family Farm Box, where she showcases the use of local, fresh produce.

Fifty Ways to Feed Your Lover

50 chef-tested ways to feed your lover

Download the whole list of romantic dinner ideas

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