what is sexy?

It’s a subjective question. Just as some prefer diet soda and others will only drink regular, people find different aspects of another person either sexy or not. I agree with that on most levels, especially when it comes to appearance and personality traits. But what I think is most important, what can make or break a man for me in the ‘is he sexy’ department is actions.

Actions do speak so much louder than words and apparently I am most affected by them because this post has been brewing in me for a week. I let it settle down a bit because I was surprisingly volatile about it for a few days.

Here is what I’m talking about. I had the pleasure of attending the final regular season competition of the PBR (Professional Bull Riders) at the Mohegan Sun Arena in Connecticut a week ago. The arena is located in the middle of the Casino there so you get quite a mix of people as you can imagine. Throw in the top 40 professional bull riders in the country, their fans, the stock contractors, bull fighters, announcers and road crew, in addition to the usual casino goers and you get the picture of what the diverse personalities inside Mohegan Sun was like that day.

Anyway, after a great competition my husband and I went to a seafood restaurant to grab a quick dinner before we drove home. We sat at the bar since it was crowded in the restaurant part, and I was enjoying my lobster bisque and salad when a man and his wife entered.

(Here is where I get to my point so bear with me.) There was one decent seat left at the bar, and next to that, located behind a column with about a six inch wide space of countertop, was another barstool. The man took the good seat and put his wife on the other one behind the column. When I realized that, I immediately lost respect for the man. He ordered them both a meal, though how she was supposed to eat hers without adequate counter space, I don’t know. His appetizer was an entire platter of raw seafood but although I know from the Eat Something Sexy website that everything on that plate was an aphrodesiac, nothing was going to make this man sexy in my book. A sexy man would have given his wife the best seat, even if it meant standing next to her to eat.

Perhaps his lack of gentlemanly behavior wouldn’t have made me so angry if I hadn’t just been exposed to men who I consider the quintessential gentlemen, the cowboy. I watched a bullrider get trampled by a one-ton bull and still manage a wave to the crowd while being carried out of the arena on a stretcher in incredible pain. These are the men who call you ma’am, give up their seat for you, stop to sign autographs no matter how tired, rushed or hurt they are. These are the traits of a real man, a gentleman, a sexy man.

How did my encounter with the anti-gentleman end? Well I managed to keep myself under control until he told the waitress how his room had come with 2 comp tickets to the bullrides but there was no way he wanted those tickets. I had wondered why there were so many good empty seats when I could only purchase tickets up in the nose-bleed section. It was then that I asked for the check, paid the bill and we left. Though the fact he hadn’t used the tickets was pretty symbolic to my writer’s mind, because such a man didn’t belong in the same arena as those cowboys.

So there it is. What’s sexy in a man to me? It’s not how they look, or even what they eat. It’s how they act that means so much more than all the rest.

One thought on “what is sexy?

  1. Tilly greene

    You’ve nailed it, Cat! That man was so not sexy! Remember that famous ‘Dirty Dancing’ line: “No one puts Baby in the corner.”? Well, when we heard it, we sighed, and knew that was the type of man we wanted – a real gentleman!

    Actually, I’m thinking you should’ve passed the wife your business card, and told she can find really sexy men there 🙂

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