Like good erotica, there is an art to describing a meal in a way that evokes a visceral response. I have a friend who can describe a meal in the most vivid, sensual images; his deep, resonant voice and subtle use of sexual innuendo leave me breathless. I love to hear him talk about his dining experiences and have longed to share one of these meals with him. I want to see the dishes as he sees them, taste what he’s tasting, and listen to him describe each sensation as I’m feeling it. A bit too intimate? Maybe. But, it’s just dinner, right?
And then it was my turn. The venue of choice was the first restaurant he described to me, Chef Michael White’s 2 Michelin-starred restaurant, Alto. The reservation happened to be on my birthday (for convenience more so than for the occasion, but it was a nice touch).
Our reservation was early, the restaurant not very busy when we were seated. It was a cold blustery night, which made the warm glow of the dining room feel even more luxurious. We were seated at a banquette in the heart of the room yet screened on one side by a glass wall of chilling Champagne. The scene was set, the wine ordered – with menus in hand, foreplay had begun. Like a lovers’ tryst, there were moments of delicious delight tempered with more ordinary moments, simple yet satisfying. And then there was dessert…
The Menu: Aphrodisiacs and Innuendo a la Carte
Amuse Bouche: A tongue teaser
House-cured salmon with blood orange: The silky firmness of a lovers tongue brushing over yours for the first time, perfumed with the sweet-tartness of Sicilian blood oranges (I’m sure other more provocative images may come to mind, but this is just a little teaser!)
Antipasti:
Mushroom soup with truffled ricotta: The essence of wild mushrooms engulfs a cloud of creamy ricotta, the earthy-musky aroma of truffles draws you closer and piques your curiosity
Seared diver scallops with grappa-soaked raisins and toasted Marcona almonds: To share this course, he carefully prepared the perfect bite – A bite of scallop with crackling caramelized exterior, opalescent tender briny-sweet inside, a plump warm raisin with just enough bite to play with the salty slightly bitter almond bits
Pastas:
Meat tortellini with prosciutto and tomato cream sauce: Tender handmade pasta lightly bathed in creamy tomato sauce studded with bits of earthy, salty prosciutto were familiar and comforting
Chestnut gnocchi with braised lamb neck: Clouds of chestnut burst on my tongue and dissolved into an aromatic, delicately gamey stew of tender lamb – think deep, rich kisses!
Entrees: (Although the entrees were very tasty, by this time we were ready for dessert)
Seared duck breast with Tuscan lentils and huckleberry jus: tender, juicy, perfectly pink duck breast with savory berry jus and tiny lentils that pop like earthy caviar on the palate
Sirloin with hen of the woods mushrooms, parsnip puree and red wine-bone marrow sauce: Medallions of perfectly cooked juicy steak, grilled mushrooms exuding the essence of the forest, and flawless classic sauce
Dessert:
Delicious climax… When this friend originally told me about Alto, the most vivid description he gave was of the torrone dessert, which he compared to a sublime orgasm. Hmm…
Torrone semifreddo smothered in deep dark chocolate sauce: My birthday dessert – what I had been waiting for all night. This is where food and sex collided. Almost unintentionally (I said almost!), the line between food references and sexual references blurred. “Happy Birthday” written in chocolate on the plate, and a white candle flickered from its place on the rim. The dish contained a narrow cylinder of semifreddo on a disk of hazelnut cake. The waiter stood next to me with a silver pitcher of chocolate sauce that he proceeded to pour from a great height. We were mesmerized by the steady stream of chocolate enrobing the semifreddo. As the last trickle came down, the waiter stepped back and told us to “let it get hard before beginning.” Our eyes nearly popped out! My friend told me to make a wish and blow. Between the pouring of chocolate (always erotic), waiting for the cylinder of chocolate covered creaminess to get hard and having to blow before beginning was right in line with what I was wishing at that moment!
Apple-filled bomboloni with Calvados-caramel dipping sauce: As I lustily dug into my dessert, he tasted his; warm filled doughnuts with salty caramel dipping sauce. He bit into the first one and was concerned that it wasn’t cooked all the way through – there was a creamy layer that he wasn’t expecting. I reached for it (a little clumsily) – he told me to “just grab it.” I took a bite. It wasn’t undercooked, it had a pastry cream filling as well as the apples. He stuck his finger into the cream to taste it. I believe I sighed at that point. Then he dipped his finger into another one and had me lick the warm cream and sweet apple filling from his finger.
I don’t know if actual sex would have been any more satisfying at that point!
The innuendo became too much for us to keep straight faces. We began laughing at ourselves and at the mildly pornographic scene we were creating in a dining room full of businessmen in suits. It was the best birthday dinner ever!
We left the restaurant, both still reveling in the afterglow of a wonderful meal and good company. As we walked into the cold wind, the spell was broken. We walked a block and parted ways, promising to do this again someday.
I hope he wasn’t just saying that – I hope it wasn’t just a one night stand!
Our meal was outstanding – wine, food, service, and of course the conversation; it was a sensual and, at times, erotic experience. If this were a real date, it would have been completely different – awkward instead of playful. But what’s a bit of good food porn between friends? |
